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retro_eidasI had a dream last night that for the rest of the season Dean/Cas emulated Buffy/Angel from the first two seasons of BTVS. The whole can't get too close or he'll lose his soul thing. Dean's terrified Cas will turn into the Mrs.-Dalloway-Cas he met in Zach's future, so desperately tries not to treat him too human or like he would a human friend. Except there's also how he totally loves Cas, but doesn't want to admit it. Cas is increasingly confused and hurt by Dean's distance because, whether Dean likes it or not, Cas is becoming more human and he wants to be close to those he cares for (namely Dean). Sam thinks Dean's an idiot (The future is what we make! We make our own future, isn't that what you said?*), but Dean isn't having it since he doesn't want to be the one responsible for Cas ruining his chance to go back home / making Cas feel compelled or obligated to stay out of misplaced feelings for him then hate him later.
Of course, I woke up before any understanding could be met or sexytiems had since apparently even my subconscious is censored by the FCC. >:(
Since SPN posts are always better with pretty pictures!
"We make our own future."
"Yeah, well, we're making it up as we go."
Of course, Dean started the future re-writing earlier in MATEOTB, when he stormed into Chuck's hovel and forcibly recruited him (well, his archangel, which was presumably Raphael. No wonder he was so pissy/creepy with Dean in FTBYAM) to help go scare off Lilith. In both LuR and MATEOTB, Chuck hadn't written either scenario and he was totally caught off guard. Could just be the fallibility of the visions or Dean seems to be adept at rewriting the future (better with Cas and Sam).
Of course, I woke up before any understanding could be met or sexytiems had since apparently even my subconscious is censored by the FCC. >:(
Since SPN posts are always better with pretty pictures!
"We make our own future."
"Yeah, well, we're making it up as we go."
Of course, Dean started the future re-writing earlier in MATEOTB, when he stormed into Chuck's hovel and forcibly recruited him (well, his archangel, which was presumably Raphael. No wonder he was so pissy/creepy with Dean in FTBYAM) to help go scare off Lilith. In both LuR and MATEOTB, Chuck hadn't written either scenario and he was totally caught off guard. Could just be the fallibility of the visions or Dean seems to be adept at rewriting the future (better with Cas and Sam).
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Re: Oo, killing me with the Eliot now, are we.
Date: 2009-10-04 10:31 pm (UTC)Yeah, I think this part made me wish I were alcoholic just so I could attempt to forget. I think a couple other fans I was talking to last week were pretty convinced it was, well, that it did mean something, but it was the biggest fucking let-down because you thought MAYBE AT THE END... even if there's nothing after death, even if the death is pointless, it's better to die side by side than to die chasing ghosts, or to die because the man you love just couldn't give a shit? or something?
I dunno, I wish this episode had played a bit more with something we know must exist deep inside Dean, the one thing that may not only survive but also flourish from the continual repression he does, the shadow side to the Righteous Man, the demonic in him that is not about the supernatural but about himself, the callousness (one think of 'the banality of evil?') that most worries me about this oh-so-sensitive man.
Ugh, sometimes I wanna hug Cas, Dean is such an abusive boyfriend it's not funny at all.
Yes, 4 am is a VERY BAD TIME for these thoughts.
Re: Oo, killing me with the Eliot now, are we.
Date: 2009-10-04 11:30 pm (UTC)It really was all so pointless, but I think that's exactly what they were going for... or maybe I'm just desensitized from all the post-apoc fiction I've read. LOL Had this situation not been so very wrong, Dean would have cared, he'd have never sent Cas off to his death so meaninglessly. Cas wouldn't have wallowed in a non-life of debauchery and constant Soma Holiday.
the shadow side to the Righteous Man, the demonic in him that is not about the supernatural but about himself
Yes. This. Also the facing of this so he can face what is yet to come. I'd wonder if Zach has done all this on purpose, but I know he hasn't based on his reactions when Dean/Sam/Cas aren't around. One way or another, he is helping Dean achieve his destiny I think, just not at all in the way he seems to be intending.
Ugh, sometimes I wanna hug Cas, Dean is such an abusive boyfriend it's not funny at all.
I'm hoping Dean has learned though. Considering he's reached out to Sam, I'd really hope to see him do the same to Cas... then again, if it goes the way of my subconscious, it will be there but he might be fighting it. Afraid what that might do to Castiel (or himself, too afraid to get too close to someone that won't or can't be around for the long haul). We do really have to see Castiel's desires as part of the choice we kind of have to see him face. It must have meaning, which would be the glaring difference from Zach's AU future. Whether angel or human, I think it's possible for him to lead an authentic life. I think the story is pointing in the direction of Dean/Sam/Cas (especially, Dean/Cas), for better or worse, but we'll have to see how it goes down.