you know you're a little too obsessed with Dean/Cas when...

[retro_eidas]

I had a dream last night that for the rest of the season Dean/Cas emulated Buffy/Angel from the first two seasons of BTVS. The whole can't get too close or he'll lose his soul thing. Dean's terrified Cas will turn into the Mrs.-Dalloway-Cas he met in Zach's future, so desperately tries not to treat him too human or like he would a human friend. Except there's also how he totally loves Cas, but doesn't want to admit it. Cas is increasingly confused and hurt by Dean's distance because, whether Dean likes it or not, Cas is becoming more human and he wants to be close to those he cares for (namely Dean). Sam thinks Dean's an idiot (The future is what we make! We make our own future, isn't that what you said?*), but Dean isn't having it since he doesn't want to be the one responsible for Cas ruining his chance to go back home / making Cas feel compelled or obligated to stay out of misplaced feelings for him then hate him later.

Of course, I woke up before any understanding could be met or sexytiems had since apparently even my subconscious is censored by the FCC. >:(

Since SPN posts are always better with pretty pictures!


"We make our own future."


"Yeah, well, we're making it up as we go."

Of course, Dean started the future re-writing earlier in MATEOTB, when he stormed into Chuck's hovel and forcibly recruited him (well, his archangel, which was presumably Raphael. No wonder he was so pissy/creepy with Dean in FTBYAM) to help go scare off Lilith. In both LuR and MATEOTB, Chuck hadn't written either scenario and he was totally caught off guard. Could just be the fallibility of the visions or Dean seems to be adept at rewriting the future (better with Cas and Sam).

Comments

[paraxdisepink.livejournal.com]

The whole can't get too close or he'll lose his soul thing. Oh forbidden love! Even if it's just Dean fearing his mortal vice-ridden impurity will taint his inviolate Castiel.

Cas is increasingly confused and hurt by Dean's distance because, whether Dean likes it or not, Cas is becoming more human and he wants to be close to those he cares for (namely Dean).

These types of slash stories never get old.

Sam thinks Dean's an idiot
I can see this. I love Sam like hot fudge for a reason.

We make our own future."

Then he makes out . . . with Cas :P

[eido.livejournal.com]

Oh forbidden love! Even if it's just Dean fearing his mortal vice-ridden impurity will taint his inviolate Castiel.

CAS IS CHASTE! Except when he totally isn't in those seedy parts of my brain. Suddenly I have this image of Galahad charging and anguished through the halls of Castle Anthrax... and I'd bet dollars to donuts that's exactly what 5.03's cathouse was called. "Torment me no further!! I must seek God the Grail!!" LOL

These types of slash stories never get old.

The bemused superpowered innocent and the surly, bishounen mortal. That's pretty much staple for about every anime ever.

Then he makes out . . . with Cas :P

That's how every episode with Cas ever ends in my head, so naturally my subconscious would know nothing else. XD

[ibroketuesday.livejournal.com]

That sounds like it needs to be a fic. IT IS AMAZING.

[eido.livejournal.com]

My subconscious takes that as a compliment from the person who apparently wrote my favorite Dean/Cas fic. Awesome renegade angel is awesome. XD

[ibroketuesday.livejournal.com]

*blushes* Aw, thank you, bb.

Promises me I'm safe as houses

[22by7.livejournal.com]

as long as I remember who's wearing the trousers...


That theory of yours? Is one of the 8 billion or so reasons 504 will remain the most depressing, un-rewatchable episode in SPN history for me. I thought it'd be one way for that particular future to come true, assuming it wasn't all Zachariah manipulation (something about the crude sense of humour and f!Dean's words to p!Dean smacked of Zach, somehow). In this nightmare scenario, Dean inadvertently pushes Cas away in exactly the ways Cas needs him to be there, and Cas slip-slides into the Lifestyle of Apoca-hippie Doom, and then hurt hurt etc., &c.

:[

I want Cas to recruit Raphael to help him. What? I want one non-asshole Archangel, and it's almost safe to say Claudia Black won't be showing up as Gabriel...

Re: Promises me I'm safe as houses

[eido.livejournal.com]

In this nightmare scenario, Dean inadvertently pushes Cas away in exactly the ways Cas needs him to be there, and Cas slip-slides into the Lifestyle of Apoca-hippie Doom, and then hurt hurt etc., &c.

Yeah, Cas is there with him, but he isn't there. Following Dean's orders, but there's no warmth there and whatever bond they had, it's tossed aside for F!Dean's futile attempt to assuage his massive guilt and failure to save Sam and the world (or perhaps just to end it all). That scene at the end between them was so glaringly different, one brief moment of mutual affection, then compared to the entire ep of F!Dean and F!Cas? Yet it's these two that stayed by each other's sides for 5 years of apocalyptic hell, but have nearly nothing there to show for it. That last scene between them just makes the AU rel'p that much more despairing. When, by all accounts and based on that one scene in the end, they should have been so much closer, like brothers (or whatever else), but just close. Instead it was totally empty, full of little to nothing but artificial, poisoning stimuli and gratuitous physical gratification with no meaning at all. Shape without form, shade without colour. Paralysed force, gesture without motion.

Oo, killing me with the Eliot now, are we.

[22by7.livejournal.com]

Whereas our Cas is the notion of some infinitely gentle, infinitely suffering thing?


YES. It made me feel terrible, it made me feel afraid. You can't know a person, you can't save them from their private hell, love will not prevail... basically some heavy shit. Hah.

Re: Oo, killing me with the Eliot now, are we.

[eido.livejournal.com]

Whereas our Cas is the notion of some infinitely gentle, infinitely suffering thing?

So much like our very own Queen Dido begging Aeneas not to leave her (echoed in Dean and Sam). Except in F!Cas' case, perhaps without the suicide, at least not in the more immediate sense. His was a slow deterioration. Agreeing to Dean's plan, he knew he was signing on for a suicide mission, I'd even wonder if he knew what exactly Dean was planning. He probably knew Dean well enough to know they were both about to die. And it still didn't mean anything.

Of course, the one symbol of light and hope, Past!Dean, it probably was the closest Cas came to seeing or ever finding God for a long time. Of course, Future!Dean gets all annoyed at him for it. Still possessive/territorial, yet if there is any real feeling there, it's so deeply buried by pain and angst? Seriously, what right did he have to be annoyed like that, especially when he was about to toss Cas to the wolves?

Re: Oo, killing me with the Eliot now, are we.

[22by7.livejournal.com]

And it still didn't mean anything.
Yeah, I think this part made me wish I were alcoholic just so I could attempt to forget. I think a couple other fans I was talking to last week were pretty convinced it was, well, that it did mean something, but it was the biggest fucking let-down because you thought MAYBE AT THE END... even if there's nothing after death, even if the death is pointless, it's better to die side by side than to die chasing ghosts, or to die because the man you love just couldn't give a shit? or something?

I dunno, I wish this episode had played a bit more with something we know must exist deep inside Dean, the one thing that may not only survive but also flourish from the continual repression he does, the shadow side to the Righteous Man, the demonic in him that is not about the supernatural but about himself, the callousness (one think of 'the banality of evil?') that most worries me about this oh-so-sensitive man.

Ugh, sometimes I wanna hug Cas, Dean is such an abusive boyfriend it's not funny at all.

Yes, 4 am is a VERY BAD TIME for these thoughts.

Re: Oo, killing me with the Eliot now, are we.

[eido.livejournal.com]

it was the biggest fucking let-down because you thought MAYBE AT THE END.

It really was all so pointless, but I think that's exactly what they were going for... or maybe I'm just desensitized from all the post-apoc fiction I've read. LOL Had this situation not been so very wrong, Dean would have cared, he'd have never sent Cas off to his death so meaninglessly. Cas wouldn't have wallowed in a non-life of debauchery and constant Soma Holiday.

the shadow side to the Righteous Man, the demonic in him that is not about the supernatural but about himself

Yes. This. Also the facing of this so he can face what is yet to come. I'd wonder if Zach has done all this on purpose, but I know he hasn't based on his reactions when Dean/Sam/Cas aren't around. One way or another, he is helping Dean achieve his destiny I think, just not at all in the way he seems to be intending.

Ugh, sometimes I wanna hug Cas, Dean is such an abusive boyfriend it's not funny at all.

I'm hoping Dean has learned though. Considering he's reached out to Sam, I'd really hope to see him do the same to Cas... then again, if it goes the way of my subconscious, it will be there but he might be fighting it. Afraid what that might do to Castiel (or himself, too afraid to get too close to someone that won't or can't be around for the long haul). We do really have to see Castiel's desires as part of the choice we kind of have to see him face. It must have meaning, which would be the glaring difference from Zach's AU future. Whether angel or human, I think it's possible for him to lead an authentic life. I think the story is pointing in the direction of Dean/Sam/Cas (especially, Dean/Cas), for better or worse, but we'll have to see how it goes down.