harry potter and the prisoner sex of azkaban

[retro_eidas]

From the The Leaky Cauldron

PoA makes Rolling Stone's countdown list

Peter Travers, movie critic for Rolling Stone magazine (who has been very hard on the series so far), put "Prisoner of Azkaban" in the number 10 slot on countdown of summer movies. ("Catwoman" is number nine.) Thanks to reader WhyDoesMilkSpill for this one!

OPENING DATE: June 4th The first two Harry films wimped out, even though they cashed in.

WHAT'S PROMISING?: Puberty. Harry (Daniel Radcliffe), Hermione (Emma Waston), and Ron (Rupert Grint) have reached the age where magic tricks aren't everything.

WHAT'S TROUBLING?: They'll go easy on the sex to protect the franchise.

KEY PLAYER: New director Alfonso Cuaron--he gave us the three-way in "Y Tu Mama Tambien"--is sure to bring fun to the Potter party.

Now, I'm as gutterific as the next person here and I'd be lying if I said the idea of an HP three-way doesn't make me a little giggly (especially if Luscious is involved) ... but to mark down PoA (#10?) simply because there's no chance in hell of a Harry/Hermione/Ron "Y, tu mama tambien"-esque three-way? Amusing. Methinks Travers needs to lay off the NC17 HP fanfic and NEKKID!!!!111 Emma Watson manips. I also love that "go easy on the sex to protect the franchise" stuff. As if Cuaron was cutting out from the source material to make it acceptable for us romper room HP chil'ins. There's NOTHING to "go easy" on shitheel because there's NO SEX in the original text. No where (although I do think JKR has a bit of a randy sense of humor. Harry's "What d’you mean, I’m not brave in bed?!" at Dudley in OotP is still one of my favorite lines). Maybe next time the filmmakers should take a page from the SNL handbook and recast Hermione with Lindsey Lohan, taped up breasteses and all, in the hopes to score higher than "Catwoman"?

#9? All apologies, this must be the Summer Movies-for-Masturbation Countdown. I got myself in a tizzy for nothing.

Comments

[idealfacade.livejournal.com]

#9?All apologies, this must be the Summer Movies-for-Masturbation Countdown. I got myself in a tizzy for nothing.


I know how you feel. Thank God I watched the trailer so I wouldn't have to waste money watching what seems to be a sh*tty-a** movie...

[eido.livejournal.com]

Everything about the movie is nasty and wrong. The trailer is the worst of it. The costume? The posters? Everything screams, "Hollywood needs an intervention!" Yet they're inflicting it on us this summer. They could at least try to send it back, CGI it into oblivion (animating over Halle's horrid costume *first. thing.*) and then attempt releasing it. Too much CGI can end up ass too, but it's not like they're even trying. Those who are responsible for this... it must be really nice to have all that green and not give a flying rat's ass about anything remotely decent. If any of them seriously thought that get-up looks good enough to pass for anything but unbridled mockery? Makes it hard for me to believe these folks could get work at McDonalds, much less make and hand over millions to shit out this slapdash Catwoman-only-by-name nightmare.

Oh. But this looks so much better than "Prisoner of Azkaban". Bitch, please. Why is Rolling Stone even reviewing movies anyway? Go back to your meager, but sensible beginnings and review some good music for a change.