Time to wake-up, Deanus Christ
Apr. 10th, 2010 09:23 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
retro_eidasI wasn't even so much focused on Lisa as Dean's idyllic (and creepy and sad) dream of domesticity - though there was that too, obviously - but about Dean's destiny and what he thinks he'll be able to accomplish by saying yes. Lisa represents Humanity and those that might be saved, but also those that will die by the decision Dean's made. Lisa's worried entreaty for Dean to come in was like Humanity begging him not to do this (yeah, "conditions", whatever. Because the angels are so reasonable and trustworthy? And what about those millions of families out there NOT part of Dean's escapist fantasies? Lisa represents them just as much as she does those Dean would wish to spare), but he walks away anyway. Turning his back on and betraying Humanity and his own, even sealing it with a goodbye kiss. Just like Pamela in the previous ep - who was blissfully shilling the angel MO - kissed Dean. Dean thinking he's playing the martyr and savior, when he's playing the Judas.
Though it's confusing, because without Judas there wouldn't have been a resurrection or ascension and thus no apotheosis for Jesus. And Dean is pretty much SPN's equivalent of the Second Coming (next to Jesse). Yet he seems to also be the Judas, essentially forcing himself to fulfill his own destiny, though I doubt it will be the destiny Zachariah is shilling. Though obviously neither Dean or Zachariah are aware of that now. What that destiny is? I couldn't say, but the Second Coming was one scary mofo in Revelation (Abaddon could also be a possibility, but that's perhaps crackspec for another time). However, Dean needs a big, fat reality check first. Dean has been clinging to idyllic, sad fantasies re: his relationship with Sam, of domestic, escapist fantasies with women he hardly knows AND him believing he's doing right by saying yes... and because of all of that, Dean's got to have a very rude awakening and soon. To get that reality check, Dean's likely got to go through the worst gauntlet ever. It would have to be to strong enough, like herculean, to break him out of that long worthless streak of his that's only been aggravated last season post-Hell and continued into this season. All to become what he was meant to become.
Dean's humanity, at least an aspect of it, will probably have to be sacrificed to have his apotheosis. Except, being wishful thinky as I am, I'm guessing it will just be those parts that have him way too dependent on fantasies as a means of coping with life and what comes at him instead of really going out there and pro-actively doing something about it. The parts of Dean's humanity holding him and his apotheosis back. The clinging to the assumption that Sam's view of family being just like his own (co-dependent, exclusive and unhealthy) and believing his own being the only way that's worth anything, the Lisa-Ben dream and saying yes to Zach & Michael are all part of that.
Dean's got to realize that Sam still loves him as much as he loves Sam and it's okay that Sam is his own person who has his own views about family.
If Dean wants a family, he's got to go out there and get it, stop dreaming about it. Maybe that could be with Lisa. He could go back to her when this is all over (if she's available), truly get to know her and Ben thus truly love them and become part of their family, not just settle with the ideal of them. Or maybe not.
The most immediate he's got to quit believing this notion of not being good or strong enough so believes he's got to pass the cup over to Zachariah and Michael. Quit believing the millions, maybe billions, of losses that would come about from his saying yes are acceptable losses. That cup is his and was given to him for a reason, because he is strong enough, he just doesn't remotely believe that about himself *or* his allies right now. Just like he didn't at all believe it in his future-self in "The End". To prevent himself from becoming that Future!Dean? Dean's got to believe in himself and his friends.
Though it's confusing, because without Judas there wouldn't have been a resurrection or ascension and thus no apotheosis for Jesus. And Dean is pretty much SPN's equivalent of the Second Coming (next to Jesse). Yet he seems to also be the Judas, essentially forcing himself to fulfill his own destiny, though I doubt it will be the destiny Zachariah is shilling. Though obviously neither Dean or Zachariah are aware of that now. What that destiny is? I couldn't say, but the Second Coming was one scary mofo in Revelation (Abaddon could also be a possibility, but that's perhaps crackspec for another time). However, Dean needs a big, fat reality check first. Dean has been clinging to idyllic, sad fantasies re: his relationship with Sam, of domestic, escapist fantasies with women he hardly knows AND him believing he's doing right by saying yes... and because of all of that, Dean's got to have a very rude awakening and soon. To get that reality check, Dean's likely got to go through the worst gauntlet ever. It would have to be to strong enough, like herculean, to break him out of that long worthless streak of his that's only been aggravated last season post-Hell and continued into this season. All to become what he was meant to become.
Dean's humanity, at least an aspect of it, will probably have to be sacrificed to have his apotheosis. Except, being wishful thinky as I am, I'm guessing it will just be those parts that have him way too dependent on fantasies as a means of coping with life and what comes at him instead of really going out there and pro-actively doing something about it. The parts of Dean's humanity holding him and his apotheosis back. The clinging to the assumption that Sam's view of family being just like his own (co-dependent, exclusive and unhealthy) and believing his own being the only way that's worth anything, the Lisa-Ben dream and saying yes to Zach & Michael are all part of that.
Dean's got to realize that Sam still loves him as much as he loves Sam and it's okay that Sam is his own person who has his own views about family.
If Dean wants a family, he's got to go out there and get it, stop dreaming about it. Maybe that could be with Lisa. He could go back to her when this is all over (if she's available), truly get to know her and Ben thus truly love them and become part of their family, not just settle with the ideal of them. Or maybe not.
The most immediate he's got to quit believing this notion of not being good or strong enough so believes he's got to pass the cup over to Zachariah and Michael. Quit believing the millions, maybe billions, of losses that would come about from his saying yes are acceptable losses. That cup is his and was given to him for a reason, because he is strong enough, he just doesn't remotely believe that about himself *or* his allies right now. Just like he didn't at all believe it in his future-self in "The End". To prevent himself from becoming that Future!Dean? Dean's got to believe in himself and his friends.
